Memories

Oh good 'ol days...

I haven't "LOVED" for over a year now... I was going through my Facebook messages and I found old messages from my ex-boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend... I just read all of it and it brought back so much memories and all the feelings I had back then :D lol

The amazing thing is, the things that made you cry back then gets funnier as time goes by XD

Now, I should go make a boyfriend.... Cuz I want to be loved!!!!!!! <3 LMFAO

AND YES, I am writing this at 1:04 AM... lol

I'm gonna go to sleep (( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

Goodnight <3

Busy Month...

Heyyy :)


So this month, October, is a very busy month for me for some reason... I never planned it but my schedule just got all full... :/


To begin, I have a PE Festival this friday (not 100% sure yet because of the weather). Then, I have an EIKEN test this Sunday (which I have barely studied for...). Next, I have a school trip from Oct. 26 to 28th (which I am sooo excited for). So that is all of my weekends this month. Pretty full, right?


Well besides that, I have nothing else :P


My love is still out there, not knowing my feeling :/


Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you all!


Actually, I don't feel like saying it here so I'm not gonna but if you wanna know, email me ;)


Yep, that's about it :)


Seeya <3

One Way Love

Everyone, I am done with my depression because of all of the help from my friends :) Thank you everyone <3


So now, I am stressed. Stressed over what? Stressed over LOVE.


The thing is, I seriously think I'm in LOVE and not one of those "OMG he is so cute and hot and amazing" kind of love. I honestly LOVE him. But of course he doesn't know that. I want to tell him that I love him and I will at some point but I just don't know the right time to tell him.


I daydream about him. He comes into my dreams all the time. Whenever I have nothing to do, I look at a picture of him and think to myself "why is it that you are so close and yet far away?"


I may be a stalker to him now. And I may be the same after I tell him my true feelings. But no matter what he thinks of me, what I think of him will never change.


There are always a negative and a positive to a person. But HIM, his negatives are nothing compared to a regular person's negative. Maybe because he has so many positives that I can't get the negatives. It may be good but it may be bad at the same time.

I WILL TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM AND THAT IS THE END OF THIS BLOG :)


<3

This is PURE depression

Hi everyone...


Today, I found out what a TRUE depression is....


I'm going through it right now.....


I have never felt this way.....


I was crying in the corner of my room for an hour with a box of tissue....


My eyes were RED...


All I thought about was that I wanted to just DIE....


I thought that DEATH was the most AMAZING thing ever....


If I died, I wouldn't need to be stressed or have to even think about anything and I won't have to be alone....


Is there even anyone who would care if I die...?


If anyone knows someone who is going through the same thing as me, email me at aoi.usami.821@gmail.com


Please do....


Thank You....

Episode 6: 2 Months Have Already Passed :o

Hey :)


Guess what? It's been 2 months since I came back to Japan :o
Like Oh Em Gee~~~ lmfao <3


So I was just thinking about life and when I began to think, nothing came to mind... does this mean I have NO life?!?! O_o


I started soccer again and just went to my first practice today and it was tiring!!!!! x_x


After practice, I was on the bus and I totally fell asleep and when I woke up, we were at the station already and I was like the last one to get off XP


I went to school in my uniform today for the second time since I got them and the first time, I didn't like it cuz it's not comfortable to move in and today (my second time), I still don't like it still cuz the skirt is just HELL for me~! XoX I am not meant to wear skirts XD


The weather these days are like fucked up which is causing me to get headaches and/or body pain easily and the worst part is... I GET TIRED REALLY EASILY!


These past few days, everyone in NY is talking about Finals and how summer is coming close and there's just me in Japan thinking about how far summer is away from now... 2 more months... :/


Oh yeah, I got my friend back like few days ago :D we haven't talked in like few months cuz we were in a fight but we forgot why we were mad at each other so we apologized for something we both don't remember and now we talk everyday :) Friendship is great, ain't it? :)


My sleeping habit is HORRIBLE these days... So I go to bed at usually around 1 AM and wake up at 7:20 AM and then I sleep on the way to school on the bus and after school, I sleep on the bus as well and then I go home and sleep for about 2 hours and eat dinner, watch TV, take a shower, do homework, go on the internet , and then repeat the same thing over and over. Do you think I'm having a good sleeping habit? Cuz I think it's really BAD... :/


I'm tired already :P


Gonna go now :)


See ya guys soon <3

Episode 5: Thinking Too Much About Everything

Hey :)


I'm writing this blog cuz I just realized that I haven't wrote one in a while but then I realized that I already wrote one this month but nevermind that :D


As I listen to "Friday" by the GLEE and think about what I'm gonna write in this blog, the song has ended so now I'm listening to "Misery" by the GLEE :)


Okay so this is what I'm gonna talk about :) THINKING. This is one thing I have been doing too much of. I have been thinking more than taking action and I need to get all my thinking to become real. If I keep thinking and thinking and thinking and never get to the action, there's no point of thinking for so long.


As my brain starts to slow itself down, I'm gonna stop this blog at this point this now. My head is "turned off" as my friend, Paige, said on Friday :D


I will "think" of more things to write for the next blog :)


LOVE YOU <3

Episode 4: School, School, and More School

Basically, I've been going to school for about a month now and I've somehow got used to it. I still can not remember everyone's names but I'm trying my best to remember XP There are barely any guys in my grade which is kinda sad... :/


Today was classroom visitation day where parents come to school and watch their kids learn in school. My mom came... :/ I hate these things... Like parents don't belong in school so why should they come? And my school is really strange cuz we only had 2 hours of school and my first period was Science where we did an experiment and second period was Gym where we preformed this thing that I have no idea what it was but my class was the best out of all the other classes which was good :) And then we played dodgeball and OF COURSE my class wins both games :D My class is like a beast <3 nbd :^)


I have something to tell you all. I got a new crush :X He's in my grade. He's cute/hot. I've never talked to him before but we have texted. I think he doesn't like me back but I can't control my feeling... :/ What should I do?!?!?! (x_x)


And it as been an hour since I realized that I started this blog... @_@ hahaha <3


Well that's all I have for now I guess :P


Love y'all <3

Episode 3: A Month has Already Passed

OMG! A month has passed since I came to Japan... o_O Woah~! Well I've been in school for 2 weeks now and it's pretty TOUGH... I have no idea what I'm doing whatsoever... :/ Yikes... I "think" I made friends... Kinda... Well I have two or three friends for sure but yeah... The one I'm closest to is Paige. She's from Washington and she is a little bit violent but I love her cuz she's awesome and she's the only person I can talk to in English :D She's funny and everyone loves her including me <3


Speaking of English, I'm in honor English in Japan! Like holy cow! I was in modified and regular English in NY and now I'm in honors :O Can you believe it? And honors English isn't that bad. The teacher's name is David Clarke and he's from England so he has the accent and he's new to the school like me and he speaks no Japanese and he's funny and he make English fun in many ways :) We're reading this book called "Great Expectation" by Charles Dickens and it's in old English so it's kinda hard but it's better than reading a Japanese book :D


I have made this official that Japanese is the hardest language to learn. Period. They have THREE different characters and they are the most confusing shit ever! But I think I'm gonna go to JSL (Japanese Second Language). Hahahahahaha! I'm Japanese and I'm gonna go to JSL! WOAH! I seriously do not know ANY Japanese so I think it's okay :P


Guess what?!?!?!?! My bed is coming in 9 days from today!!!!! YAY! No more sleeping on the fucking futon! It's basically like sleeping on the floor... My whole fucking body is hurting... :( I just want everything right now!


Today, I saw my first Japanese teen drama... o_O It's not as intense as NY (Edgemont) but it was a drama all right... I don't know what the drama was about but people were in the bathroom, talking behind peoples' backs... But I think this drama won't last so long from the way I look at it. And another thing about Japan is that you can never figure out who's dating who... IT SUCKS! I wanna know but like it's invisible that I've never seen anyone together... But the weird thing is, everyone is separated by gender and I hate that! Guys have their own group and girls have their own group... There is NO group which has guys and girls. GAH! I hate that so fucking much! Like, just get along and chill! Seriously, we're not in elementary school where guys/girls have cooties, okay? lawl <3 But I wanna know who's dating who right now! XD


Well I just realized that I havn't wrote this blog in so long so just updating everyone what's going on in my life right now :)


Love you all <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Episode 2: Past 10 Days

10 day have passed since I came here and everything is going smoothly. The earthquake/tsunami situation is calming down and the TV is getting normal as it used to be. 
Since I came here, people at the Salon down stairs keep telling me I have a perfect English accent. Speaking of accents, when my cousin, Yurie, tries to speak with an American accent, it sounds funny because her accent has more of the Japanese accent and whenever she tries, it still sounds funny so we laugh about it all the time :D
My cousin and I went to buy beer for my dad one day and the sign at the store said that you must be 20 years or older to buy beer but we were able to buy it.
A week ago, I went to check out my new school. Nanzan International Junior/Senior High School. This school is a school for only Foreign students or students like me who lived in a different country for few years.
3 days ago, I went to the mall by the Nagoya Dome alone. I usually go to the mall with my cousin, Yurie, but she had a dance practice so i was alone. I walked around the mall and just looked at clothes. I bought a sweatshirt with skulls on it :) and everyone's favorite, Japanese shaky pencils :D I had fun <3
2 days ago, it was my sister, Coco's birthday so my mom and I went to buy stuff around the neighborhood. I went to buy drinks and balloons. When I went to the supermarket, i went to buy soda and beer. When I got to the cashier, the woman told me that I look too young and that she needs to see an ID or some kind of thing that shows that I'm 20 years and older so I wasn't able to buy the beer which I was asked to buy from my mom... Fail :X
Yesterday, my mom, my sisters, and I went to the furniture store and bought lights, AC, and a phone for the house. When we were there, Coco was sleepy so she was like lying down. We put her on the couch but when we turned around, she was on the floor sleeping. Oh Coco... :/
The funniest thing is that I still haven't been to my new house yet.. :P I hope I get to see it soon :D

Episode 1: Pilot

It's a beautiful day. The sounds of nature fill the air. People walking, running, and driving as well. It was in the City that this all started. New York City. I walked out of the hotel and into the rushing streets of 3rd and 50th. People were heading to the coffee shops and subways and calling for taxies. As I headed to Lextington Ave, birds flew in the air. I have arrived at the place that I wanted to start my day at. Starbucks. I got a Caramel Latte. Best thing ever. I got back to the hotel and into my bed again. I turned my TV on and began to relax again. Until... it was time to go. Out into the City then into the Taxi. Taxi ride was probably about 30 minutes. In that 30 minutes, I have stared out into a place I have lived for almost 8 years. United States of America. I have arrived at a place I didn't wanna be at. JFK International Airport. Got there and right away, went into the check-in, then into the lounge. The lounge was a quiet nice place with food and drinks. And the best part, free Wi-Fi. I watched Glee and talked to people on chat. I called my friends the last good-bye and it was time to go to the gate. Gate 6. We got onto the plane and sat in the seat.  The plane ride was 13 hours and 35 minutes. It was hell but I got through it somehow. I watched some movies and slept. As that finally ended, we waited another hour until our next plane. This one was only an hour and 10 minutes but it still felt very long. In total of 14 hours and 45 minutes, my day in the airport was DONE. Family came to pick us up and went to my grandma's place for dinner. It was 10:30 PM, 10 people in the room. All of a sudden, it gets all quiet. We all wondered what was going on and my aunt says "earthquake". We all look around and see the furniture shaking and moving. The TV was making beeping noise to tell us that there was an earthquake. My cousin and I grab onto each other and start to spazz. We knew that we were going to die. My dad tells us to shut the fuck up. We were so scared. It stops in about 3 minutes or so. The TV told us that the magnitude of the earthquake was only 3. The city next to Nagoya had a magnitude of 6! My family went to the hotel right after the earthquake ended and watched the news and fell asleep.


THAT was the BEST day of my life. NOT!